Introduction
Every year or so, a fitness product or idea will rise above the rest to capture our collective imagination, creating an intense, albeit short-lived consumerist hype. This is known as a fitness fad. Not to be mistaken with a fitness trend, which often has more longevity and substance, the word fad has become synonymous with ‘gimmick’. They’re often so ludicrous that in hindsight you wonder how anyone fell for it in the first place, yet here we are. To celebrate our ability to throw money at literally any old shit, on the promise it will deliver maximum results for little to no effort, I have compiled a list of my favourite fitness fads of all time. Enjoy.
1. Jazzercise
We’re starting off this list with a real throwback, to the extent that it came long before my time on this planet. Jazzercise was effectively the Zumba of its day, and it paved the way for many aerobic-dance fitness classes which have followed in its footsteps. The Jazzercise fad exploded in the 1980s, with hordes of Lycra clad soccer moms piling into their nearest franchised studio all across the USA. Naturally, people discovered there were limits to how fit you could become from aggressively thrusting to George Michael for an hour a week, so its popularity slowly waned. However, its cultural legacy lives on. For example, eagle-eyed viewers would have spotted a Jazzercise studio in the fictional ‘Starcourt Mall’ of Stranger Things Season 3.
2. The Shake Weight
For anyone not familiar with the Shake Weight, I can only describe it as a phallic shaped dumbbell, that users were encouraged to shake in a jerk-like motion, under the pretence it would help them burn arm fat and ‘tone’. Need I say any more. Whilst the Shake Weight was never actually going to help anyone get into serious shape, it did inadvertently inspire some great internet memes and parodies.
3. Wii Fit
The Wii Fit was an ambitious project launched by Nintendo to subtly convert fat children into athletes from the comfort of their own sweaty bedrooms. However, as anyone who owned the Wii Fit will attest, lying on the sofa intermittently flicking your wrist failed to deliver the athletic greatness we all initially envisaged. Obviously, the Wii Fit was always destined to fail as a serious fitness product, and its hysteria was short-lived, but it did at least distract adolescents from violently murdering prostitutes on Grand Theft Auto for a few months.
4. Vibrating Power Plates
The idea that you can aggressively shake your way into a chiseled physique is as absurd as it sounds. These contraptions promise to jiggle you into shape, but in reality, you’re just standing on a ginormous vibrator. Is it a coincidence I’ve only ever seen elderly women riding these things? I think not. Those machines are like catnip for old perverted exhibitionists. If you join a new gym and spot one of these monstrosities lurking in the corner, run to the hills.
5. Diet Pills
Since their inception during the late 1800s, when people decided that being skinny was more attractive than being rotund, the history and evolution of diet pills has been rather complex. However, put simply, for much of the 20th century, diet pills were basically just Amphetamines. Arguably then, the diet pill fad is the most rational of all the fads on this list, as getting off your nut on speed is highly addictive, and from what I hear, pretty good craic.
Honourable Mentions
While delving into the archives of fitness fads, it's impossible not to give a nod to some honourable mentions that, despite their entertaining nature, didn't quite ascend to legendary status in my eyes. The electronic ab belt, or ‘toning belt’, is an enduring classic. These abominations claim to give you a six-pack by simply firing electrical pulses to your abdominal muscles. Make of that what you will. Then there's also the ‘ThighMaster’, promising sculpted legs with a few squeezes – because apparently, true fitness can be distilled down to doing hip adductions on your living room floor.
Summary
In the ever-evolving realm of fitness, new fads and gimmicks will always emerge, promising revolutionary results with minimal effort. However, while the allure of a novel approach may be tempting, the tried-and-true principles of consistent, balanced exercise and a healthy lifestyle remain the ultimate keys to success. Stay informed, separate the substance from the spectacle, and remember that, amidst the sea of fads, a well-rounded and informed approach will always stand the test of time. Do the basics well.